Life's Lessons

A pastor and philosopher myself, the concepts of the Bible are central in my mind. The Prophet Ezekiel charged us with setting an example when he said God has left the building because the people’s behavior no longer reflected God (Ezekiel 10:16).

Such passages as the Prophet Micah gave me a profound minimalist understanding with: "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8)

Jesus spoke like the prophets in purpose. His last and only commandment to us was "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34–35) He set the example of “The Way” for us, illustrating the way to live in the Domain of God.

Lastly the Apostle Paul who said to think on these things and with your mind at peace you’ll know the will of God: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." (Philippians 4:8)

Other psychologists have described moral growth and character in stages, including Piaget, Lawrence Kohlberg, and the seminal work of Wayne Fowler in Stages of Faith. Studying these helped me understand the nature of spiritual growth as opposed to legalistic frameworks of obedience. Legalism doesn’t lead to understanding and empathy. Instead, we are all works in progress and learning through experience, as shown by Jesus and the Apostles.

Understanding this growth naturally led me to question the mechanics of the mind.

While studying psychology, I latched onto theories of attitude and attitude change as soon as I found them in the late 1970s. This is social psychology, which I espouse, but it typically wasn’t labeled that in many universities that focused only on advancement in clinical psychology. Social is very important. We’re not alone in this life, not islands, no matter how independent or God servants we think we are. We must help each other. Most of our meaning and purpose comes through our environment: the world of people. So social psychology became my companion in understanding people.

Alas, late in life I realized that very few people exhibit rational thought but instead are driven by attitudes. Attitudes are mostly established by felt meaning. The more powerful the emotion that establishes the attitude, the more powerful and influential the attitude.

I studied how the brain creates nodes for words and their meaning, then forms these into categories, always an open system that expands as needed, and how the brain uses different regions to think abstract thoughts. And studied semiotics, the next step was to understand the relationship between words and meaning at a deeper level.

Eugene Gendlin was pivotal in establishing how language is central to our lives and our ability to understand and convey meaning, and that each person has a different felt meaning regarding each word or concept. He noted that we feel ideas at different places in our body. Together with Frankl’s Logotherapy, felt meaning is a guide to our intuition. Gendlin’s theory of words and felt meaning solidified attitude formation and how it influences us.

Abraham Maslow covered a very different area of human needs. He established a very accurate pyramid of understanding human motivation, starting with our most basic needs and then finding our own agency for meaning and purpose, and then transcending ourselves to understand greater purpose such as social justice.

Understanding meaning and purpose leads us to understand that every person has a different purpose in their lives that depends on what they find meaning in. Some find meaning in helping others or raising family. Some in finding personal agency. Some in finding and creating beauty. And many other things. Meaning is very individualized. We find purpose in our native environment and in creating meaning and purpose beyond our environment.

Our minds are not just subject to words, felt meaning, and the attitudes they create. What we mentally dwell on—what takes up residence in our minds—is also incredibly influential in our attitudes and behavior.

For example, Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, and Validation theory, has made me more aware that we must live in the present and work with positive influences. If we dwell on the past, that’s where we are. The past goes nowhere. The past is learning and must be accepted with its lessons before we can move on into the future. But sometimes trauma takes first place until it’s resolved.

This brings us to faith. Must we have faith in God? If we accept the premise that God is love, then yes. This established hope. If not, it isn’t that there is no law in life without God, as some think. We need laws early in life until we develop empathy and well developed morals. Morals develop slowly and reach a climax around age 27. Humanism mimics God’s love and can be a substitute. But without God, it’s that we are left to the meaninglessness and hopelessness of life events that have no meaning. We’re lost in despair. It’s a giant climb to find meaning and hope.

Jean-Paul Sartre made this steep climb. But even in his books, Being and Nothingness and Existentialism is a Humanism, Sartre found something worthwhile: Existential meaninglessness is not a cause for despair, but the foundation for absolute human freedom. Since you are the sole author of your life's meaning, every choice you make defines your personal values and projects a template of what a human should be onto the rest of the world. Don’t lose hope. And perhaps you will find faith and love.

Bad faith (mauvaise foi) in Sartre’s thought, is pretending life has a built-in meaning—or blaming circumstances, biology, or fate for your choices. He concluded it is a form of self-deception. Instead, we are called to live authentically, and to do that one must accept the anxiety of absolute freedom and actively invent their own purpose. For some this is soul crushing and too much to live with. Some need more help than others.

The pinnacle of faith in God and spiritual growth is much the same as Sartre described. We stop blaming God for every good or bad thing that happens to us. We become co-creators with God. Meaning and purpose are what we make it.

For example, a person who finds meaning in beauty, such as in colors and music, might at some point in their life find social injustice compelling and start doing paintings and concerts for good causes.

We don’t have just one meaning in purpose in life. We may have several and we evolve over time.

The following people helped me establish a vital framework for understanding life:

The Anchor of Agency (Frankl and Sartre): Everything starts here. Before someone can practice gratitude or hope, they must realize they have the capacity to choose their response (agency). Frankl provides the psychological baseline: Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose. Sartre pushes this even further—even when facing existential emptiness, that void is simply the foundation for absolute human freedom. We are the authors of our own meaning, and every choice projects a template of what a human should be onto the world.

The Bridge of Felt Meaning (Gendlin): Intellectual choice is not enough on its own; we are driven by attitudes. As Eugene Gendlin established, language and concepts only change us when they become a "felt meaning" in the body. Agency and choice must connect with our intuition. When powerful emotion from experiences and others strong influence are attached to our choices, we forge the resilient attitudes necessary to survive and thrive. Or sometimes they prevent us from growth and experience. Attitudes can be good and bad for us.

The Axis of Attention (Emerson): Once agency is established and felt, Emerson provides the directional map. Looking back breeds sorrow; looking around breeds anxiety. Upward (faith and forward momentum) is the only direction that sustains life. We must accept the past and its lessons, but we can't dwell there and still grow.

The Cognitive Filter (Apostle Paul): Agency and direction need a practical, daily mechanism. Paul’s instruction to "think on these things" serves as first-century cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). By actively curating our mental diet—focusing on whatever is true, noble, honest, and beautiful—we rewire our mindset to maintain our upward trajectory.

The Summit of Self-Transcendence (Maslow, Micah, & Jesus): The ladder is capped by moving beyond self-actualization into spiritual maturity. As Maslow realized later in life, humans must connect to a higher purpose. But as Micah and Jesus defined it, this transcendence isn’t ethereal—it is deeply practical. It requires abandoning rigid legalism in favor of experiential spiritual growth (as Fowler and Kohlberg observed). The ultimate purpose is found in "The Way": acting justly, loving mercy, walking humbly, and loving one another. True meaning is found when we step outside the self and blend our own unique talents and sense of purpose with helping others.

Once you have built that ladder, it's not abstract composed of ideas, but as necessary mechanisms.

Mindfulness & Releasing the Past: This is the clearing of brutal cognitive load. You can't engage the present if your mental bandwidth is entirely consumed with the past and old wounds. Releasing the past is the necessary act of freeing up space for today.

Gratitude: This acts as the grounded, realistic proof that life has value. It prevents hope from becoming delusional by saying, "Look, I can prove that good things exist because I am holding them right now."

Hope: The psychological expectation and desire that pulls us forward. Without a future, life is dead. Hope isn't passive wishing; it is the active anticipation of the good or a goal that gives us a reason to move.

Meaning and Purpose: This is the path that keeps us moving toward a destination. Grounding purpose in ethereal ideals, such as the capacity to recognize beauty in weathered, imperfect, or ordinary things, is incredibly profound. Meaning doesn't require saving the world; sometimes it simply requires witnessing the world and finding the divine signature in a thorny bush or a quiet moment.

The Apostle Paul reminds us, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

The Meditative Sequence

• 1. The Anchor of Choice
  Between every event and my reaction, I possess the freedom to choose. Today, I actively choose to focus my mind on what is good, noble, and true.
• 2. The Release to the Present
  The past is an archive of wisdom, not an anchor holding me back. My energy, my focus, and my presence belong entirely to today.
• 3. The Ground of Gratitude
  I stand on a foundation of gratitude. Life is rich with physical grace and mental clarity, and I choose to keep my eyes open to witness it.
• 4. The Horizon of Hope
  I look forward with resilient hope. The expectation of good pulls me into tomorrow, breathing life and momentum into my future.
• 5. The Engine of Purpose
  My life has a clear trajectory. I am a resilient soul shaped by every experience, possessing a direction to go and meaningful work to share with others.

The Compact Companion Set

If these meditative thoughts are integrated into a daily tool, a digital card stack, or a morning checklist, a shorter cognitive trigger often works best:

• Choice: I own my response. Today, I choose to see the good.
• Presence: The past is a lesson, not a location. I live entirely in today.
• Gratitude: I am awake to the quiet gifts surrounding me right now.
• Hope: I expect good things, and that expectation pulls me forward.
• Purpose: I have worthwhile work to do, and I step toward it with intention.